What, you may well ask, does the title of this latest installment of the ongoing saga of my wanderings mean? That's what Julian, my malodorous companion on my current trip to the US, asked himself as well. The phrase adorns roadside hoardings, bumper stickers, t-shirts and even a pack of playing cards in the hotel gift shop.
Since the petite and enormously polite young girl in the local coffee shop seemed unintimidating, and was therefore unlikely to pull out a .357 Magnum and blow a hole in him, Julian decided to bite the bullet, so to speak, and ask her. "Oh," she said, "I'm sure I don't know. Isn't it something about litter control?" The Texas oilman in the hotel bar was unequivocal: "It's telling them *#^%#* in Washington to keep their cotton-pickin' hands of our inalienable and constitutional rights," he boomed. "We don't want them thar carpetbaggin' sunzovbitches telling' us God-fearin' Texicans how to run our business." Julian and I were none the wiser.
The litter theory seemed to be the official version, but there is the secondary libertarian undertone which makes it witty and which can frighten the fleece off of a pacifist sheep. At the end of the day we just couldn't imagine the Holiday Inn in Slough having a pack of cards in their lobby with the phrase "Keep Britain Tidy" emblazoned upon it.
Lest there be any misapprehension that we are not feeling right at home in Houston, this is one of the most welcoming of American cities and everyone is continually wishing us a pleasant next twenty-four hours. More importantly, this is the home of the original and much-beloved FOB (the Feisty Old Broad) - Jane Stilley. Jane is the nicest lady in Texas, and also one of my biggest fans (she puts up with Julian and even pretends she likes him but it is only me she really bonds with). She organised the truly memorable reunion we held at the Rainbow Lodge in Houston and both collected us and returned us to our hotel. What a girl!
The reunion/gathering was a huge success, with old friends and new coming together and, despite having to listen to Julian pontificate about strategic plans and new initiatives, everyone seemed to enjoy themselves immensely.
Now it's off to College Station, the home to Texas A&M University, and a chance for Julian to get very depressed about the resources his opposite number at this most successful of Texan universities has at his disposal to keep their alumni happy. I have pointed out that the Aggies, as they are called, don't have a sheep like me, but he merely retorts that we don't have 85,000 alumni coming to every home match to watch the 1st XV stuff Bangor.
There's no pleasing some people.
Since the petite and enormously polite young girl in the local coffee shop seemed unintimidating, and was therefore unlikely to pull out a .357 Magnum and blow a hole in him, Julian decided to bite the bullet, so to speak, and ask her. "Oh," she said, "I'm sure I don't know. Isn't it something about litter control?" The Texas oilman in the hotel bar was unequivocal: "It's telling them *#^%#* in Washington to keep their cotton-pickin' hands of our inalienable and constitutional rights," he boomed. "We don't want them thar carpetbaggin' sunzovbitches telling' us God-fearin' Texicans how to run our business." Julian and I were none the wiser.
The litter theory seemed to be the official version, but there is the secondary libertarian undertone which makes it witty and which can frighten the fleece off of a pacifist sheep. At the end of the day we just couldn't imagine the Holiday Inn in Slough having a pack of cards in their lobby with the phrase "Keep Britain Tidy" emblazoned upon it.
Lest there be any misapprehension that we are not feeling right at home in Houston, this is one of the most welcoming of American cities and everyone is continually wishing us a pleasant next twenty-four hours. More importantly, this is the home of the original and much-beloved FOB (the Feisty Old Broad) - Jane Stilley. Jane is the nicest lady in Texas, and also one of my biggest fans (she puts up with Julian and even pretends she likes him but it is only me she really bonds with). She organised the truly memorable reunion we held at the Rainbow Lodge in Houston and both collected us and returned us to our hotel. What a girl!
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